We’ve been married for 19 years today. She is my ubuntu. My meaning. I am because we are. I can tell you how much I love her and never get even close to telling you how I really feel. How she makes me feel. How she makes me better than what I am. I can never tell you How I Love My Wife…
How do I love my wife? In so many ways…
I love how I never want to write about my love for her because I know that I can never say it just the way I want to. And how I know that I still wouldn’t be able to say or write it the right way even if I was more gifted than Shakespeare. How words can never tell the story of my love for her. Because words have boundaries.
I love how I travel all over the world and still eat in my hotel room because nothing is worth experiencing without her next to me. How every scene is so much more beautiful and every morsel tastes so much better when she can see it and taste it. I love how she doesn’t get why I eat alone my hotel room.
I love how she holds me and asks me what is wrong when I don’t know how to say what is wrong. When all that is wrong is that the world just got a little bit too heavy. And that all I need is her arms around me to make me feel safe and strong again.
I love how I listen to that stupid Hero song of Enrique and cry because I just want to be her hero. I just want to wipe away the tears. I want to kiss away the pain. I just want to stand by her forever. Because she always takes my breath away.
I love how she has to bite her lip when she laughs when I do my silly South African accents. And how she laughs with no sound and the tears runs down her face. And she’s laughing at my stupid jokes.
I love how she pretends to need me even though she is so much stronger than me. I know she doesn’t climb mountains. She will make the mountains come to her. And that they will just obey.
I love how she speaks with a “little voice” when she gets back from shopping and asks me “Don’t you want to help me carry?” And how I know there will be a little something in there for me.
I love how I try to be funny and tell silly jokes and how I peep at her to see if she is laughing. And how I carry on until I see the beauty of her smile. And the happiness in her laughter.
I love how I used to hate Tom Cruise for taking the best line with “You complete me”. But how I know he didn’t even get close. She makes me. Not complete. She just makes me. Me.
I love how she laughs and shakes her head and says “What am I going to do with you?” whenever I make one of my suggestive comments. And how I do it just to hear those words.
I love how people make fun of me for always talking about my wife whenever they travel with me. How they poke fun at me for missing my wife and always phoning her.
I love how I look at her and compare every girl I see to her. And how no one compares even if they are on the pages of magazines or in leading roles in the movies.
I love how she is the centre of our universe. How she holds everything together and give meaning to our family. Stronger than gravity or any law of science.
I love how my smile gets bigger the closer I get to home. How I just want to run and laugh because I know she will be there and everything will be just fine.
I love how she asks me to tickle her back and that I have no hope in hell of getting one back. But how I don’t mind because I just love touching her.
I love how she wanted me even though she could get anyone she wanted. And how she stays with me even though she can get anyone she wants.
I love seeing her walk and watching her when she doesn’t know I am looking. And how I still have to build up the courage to ask her out.
I love how her hand feels in mine when we walk with the girls. I love how I touch her while she’s walking and kiss her on her cheek.
I love how I tell her I love her whenever I see her. Even if I just came into the kitchen from the lounge. I love how she says it back.
I love how my heart still races when I kiss her when we make out. How her lips make me forget everything that makes me mad.
I love how she had a picture of Sawyer from Lost on her screen and how she doesn’t know I have one of her on mine.
I love how she acts all needy when she wants me to get her some Coke or crisps. And how I love getting it for her.
I love how it sometimes feels as if I am going to burst because our love feels like it is bigger than the cosmos.
I love how she buys me the new Springsteen album even though she hates his music because I overplayed it.
I love how she used to remind me of Sinead O’Connor, but how Sinead now reminds me of my wife.
I love how she is the last person I speak to before I fly off and the first person I phone when I land.
I love how I still get butterflies when she reaches for my hand without her knowing she is doing it.
I love how she eggs me on to go play with the girls even though she knows it will drive her crazy.
I love how she is the first thing that touches my lips in the morning and the last thing at night.
I love how she holds me and looks into my eyes when she tells me that she loves me more.
I love how I know why John was clinging to Yoko like that on the Rolling Stones cover.
I love how she phones me 4 or 5 times a day even if I can only take a call or two.
I love how I know what it means to love someone more than I love life.
I love how I know every part of her body but still don’t know enough.
I love how she completes my sentences and makes more sense.
I love how she puts her hand on my leg when we go for a drive.
I love how she believes in me even when I have my doubts.
I love how I would rather be at home than anywhere else.
I love how I do everything just to impress her.
I love how I know real love because of her.
I love how she loves me.
I love how I love her.
I love her.
I love how I can write another million words and still not tell you how I love my wife.
I can write and write about my baby and never get enough or ever get close to telling you how I feel. Here are a few more about my baby and me:
Quick! Pull My Finger!
She Had To Wee
The Girl I Didn’t Like (or How I Met My Wife)
Ubuntu (or It’s Like Breathing)