Angry African on the Loose™

No. I don’t mean the dude with the long hair claiming to be Jesus. You know, the guy on the corner with the placards telling us tomorrow is the day when it all ends. The closest he will ever come to be Jesus is when someone walks past and whispers the word followed by a shake of the head. No, I am talking about this American Presidential election. Who would Jesus vote for?

Also note that I am not talking about God, but specifically Jesus. Very Christian of me isn’t it? But there is a reason. The majority of Americans see themselves as Christian so it makes more sense looking at the election from a Jesus perspective. I won’t go into the 3-in-1 detail. Let’s just assume for a minute we can talk about Jesus from the New Testament. And Protestant to push it a bit further. So we’ll leave it at the Jesus vote.

But we have a few technical difficulties trying to figure out who He would vote for. It’s not as if He has a very visible way of delivering the message. No radio show. No television channel where He talks directly to the nation. No website or blog. Not even a Facebook Group Page. Not a single phone number we can call or a mobile we can text. Nope, we have prayer. But even then… He doesn’t talk directly to us now does He? He doesn’t answer in a big booming voice like in the movies. Nope. The only voices we hear when praying is from the television or, at worse, the voices in our heads.

So we are stuck with a few guys (why always men?) who claim to have a direct line to Him. Yeah… Right… You would think that He would be a bit more direct in His approach instead of selecting a few guys to connect to. Why select them and not me? What the heck did I do wrong? (Okay, don’t answer that.) Isn’t it easier to just talk to all of us instead of selecting a few suspicious guys with weird hairdos? Problem is they all claim that they have the sole line to Him. You know – they are close to Him. Close friends. Almost buddies. If He was here they will play golf together. At least watch the ballgame together, right? But not the others. Problem is there is no way we can really trust these guys now can we?

Me? I generally have a bit of a problem with people delivering a message when they ask for money and/or drive big fancy cars and live in big fancy houses. Don’t like a wise ass who claims to have all the answers. It smells. And especially when they get caught with the hand in the cookie jar or other body parts hanging out with a prostitute. Don’t trust them. Never have and never will. Sorry Hagee, Robertson and gang. You don’t have a line directly to Him. Not even AT&T reaches that far. And you stretch it a bit far with your calls in any case.

But we have another bit of an issue raising its ugly head. Another thing that stops us from knowing where He would put His electronic vote or hanging tag. (Would have been nice to say where He makes His cross, but not with technology today.). Even if it came down to Him He could not have the swing vote. Because he would not be able to vote. You see, Jesus isn’t American. The last time I checked he wasn’t born around here. And I doubt whether He will be able to get citizenship based on current immigration laws. (Open debate whether He would want citizenship in any case. He is a global citizen.) Hey, He’ll have problems just getting into the country. Laws are strict and I doubt whether immigration officials will look to kindly on His application. “Son of God? Yeah, right.”

He wasn’t American. So I guess He wasn’t a Republican or a Democrat either…

But let’s stretch it a bit more and say He could vote or at the very least influence your vote. Who would He vote for? Or rather, who would He want you to vote for?

His answer would most likely be a classic. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Think about it. Why would He care who you vote for? He doesn’t really care that much about who rules you. He cares more about how you rule yourself. Doesn’t He? He made few political statements in the Bible – except for telling us to basically pay our taxes. Yeah, He picked the one thing we hate the most about government – taxes. The rest of the stuff? He was more into you I guess. Sad, but true. He put the bar pretty low.

It makes life a bit more complicated doesn’t it? Telling you to look at yourself and what you think and do. Not to worry too much about what other people are doing. Not what we really wanted to hear. We like moaning and bitching about other people more than looking in the mirror. Come on, help us out here a bit. Who would You vote for? Just this time? Please?

Dead quiet on the other side. Still nothing.

Because, like I said, He doesn’t really care that much about who you vote for. He is more into the personal stuff. What’s in your head. Sad. All of a sudden you have to worry more about who you are than who the other guy might be. But at least you can now vote for whoever you want. Right?

Most likely – how would I know? Trust me, I do not have a direct line. He doesn’t even tell you much about voting. A few basic rules for life and that’s all. You know. Those pesky Ten Commandments. No amendments. No fine print. No “buts” or “ifs”. Just the Big Ten. Don’t have other gods – television and money included. (Remember those taxes…) No idols. Yep, that includes the Pop Idol version I guess. Don’t use His name too often. Or at least out of context. Take it easy on a Sunday. Hope you don’t have to vote on a Sunday. And check the shopping please. The father and mother one is pretty easy. At least at Thanksgiving when everyone gets together… Don’t murder. Even worse when you are Catholic – they use the word kill. So try not to fight too much. Someone might get hurt. Don’t sleep around. Or look too closely at girl next door or the house. Don’t steal. Note – no small print that said you could keep the change when the teller makes a mistake… And don’t spread lies about other people. Short for “stop lying and talking bull about other people – be informed or shut the hell up.”

That should be straight forward. Not all is relevant to an election though now is it? Maybe the stuff like the murdering or killing. Or talking crap. Sorry, I mean lying. But even then – who would Jesus vote for?

No one. He doesn’t care about governments. Or countries for that matter. It’s just you baby.

The election matters. But it doesn’t matter. He won’t ask you who you voted for once you get up there. If you get up there… If there is a there…

Don’t drink the Kool-Aid. Especially not when they say they got it from Him. He doesn’t vote.

Keeping religion and politics apart. Jesus did. Maybe the Founding Fathers were way wiser (and more religious) than we thought…

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Note: First time I am getting a bit close to religion here. Took a while to decide whether to publish it or not. Let’s see the if I am called a religious nut or a nut by the religious! Remember, the world is not black or white… It’s a mirror.