At last. I got hold of it. You know. “The Gay Agenda”. Now we got them. And I am going to give away all their dirty little secrets. Warning: You will not be the same once you have read this. Be afraid. Be very afraid…
Run! Hide! Put make-up on!
The Gay Agenda by Steph Mineart
6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 pm Brunch
2:00 pm
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters and our military men to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Bulldoze all houses of worship or convert their leaders into Gaydom, and
5) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 pm Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 pm Cocktails
6:00 pm Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 pm Theater
11:00 pm Bed (du jour)
There you have it. Go lock the door now! Or just run. Run, run, run! And don’t look back!
On a more serious note. I continue to be puzzled by why people get so worked-up about gay marriages. I just really don’t get it. You might remember my piece called The “gay problem” or The Idiot’s Guide to Bigotry. I had an offline discussion with one of my (seems to be ex) frequent readers after that post. He made the point that marriage is a bond between a man and a woman that was given to us by God. Marriage is a sacred God-given bond. Marriage is between a man and a woman, ordained by God. “Fair enough”, I said. (Knowing where I was going to take this…)
So the criteria is a man and a women married in a Church under the rules of God? Right? God, the Christian God according to him and the groups he supports on this issue. I take it then that he does not recognize the marriages of Muslims, Jews, Hindu’s or any other non-Christian group? I mean really, why would they give this “right” to other sinners and non-believers? And I am not even going to touch the different Christian groups and/or sects. So, your marriage is fake if it isn’t done under the rules of orthodox protestant Christian believers. Bigotry knows no limit… (Hum, he didn’t have an answer to this one.)
Here is another take on the Gay Agenda. This time by Rabbi Daniel Judson. It is part of a speech given by him at an Interfaith Rally in Massachusetts in 2007. (Okay, roll your eyes at Massachusetts if you must. All I have to say is Celtics and Red Sox.) Rabbi Judson, I have never met you or even heard of you until about 30 minutes ago. But can I just tell you that you are one beautiful man. Words like these can come from nowhere else but the beauty inside. Thank you for this. I’ll keep it close. And share it with my friends to show them that not all religious people are whack-jobs. (I am a whack-job, but that is completely different issue.)
The Gay Agenda by Rabbi Daniel Judson
Maybe you have heard of the Massachusetts gay liberal agenda, I call it justice.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, I call it equality.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, it is called not living in fear anymore.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, it is called embracing family.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, it is called the real promise of America that we can live in freedom.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, it is called the voice of the prophet calling out let my people be who I have created them to be.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, I call it grace and truth and love.
Thank you Rabbi Judson. I will become Jewish just to come and listen to you.
____________________________
That’s it now. No more bitching and moaning from the peanut gallery. Leave me and my friends alone. They can love and marry who they want. They don’t need you to make them feel “better”. They are just fine the way they are. You know why? Because there is no “they”. It’s just my friends and I don’t give a shit who they marry or who they love. As long as they love.
I am a father of two beautiful girls. And I don’t give a damn if they are gay or not. I don’t care if they fall in love with another woman when they are older. As long as they love and as long as they are happy. (And, of course, if the person passes my test on whether they are good enough for my girls!) So, shut the hell up and let me and my friends live our lives. We don’t need you. And we for sure don’t need you to put your stinky red-neck backward nose in our business either.
You are just jealous because you live a loveless life. A bigoted life. A life of space filled with hatred. A life where you spit on God with your wars and hatred for other people. A pathetic little life where you can only surround yourself by people who only obey your orders through fear and indoctrination. A worthless life where you look for reasons to hate and judge instead of love and caring. A stupid useless life where you can only define yourself by the hate you have. You have no life or meaning of yourself. You only have meaning through the hatred that fills your empty spaces. You know no true love. You know nothing of love. You are a bigot, sir (and madam). You don’t deserve to share the same space as me and my friends. You are a waste of oxygen. And, actually, a waste of my precious blogtime.
“Snap!” You are so yesterday. Get a life. Get over yourself. And go and… hum… you know… f-off. Goodbye!
_____________________________
Note: This piece got inspired by something Vanessa wrote and by my best friend in the US - Mark. Mark and Randy… Two of the most beautiful people I know and I am so going to write about the two of you. Even though I have never met Randy. I just know, for so many reasons, that he is one hell of a person. But that, my friends, is another story for another day…
August 27, 2008 at 10:37 pm
This was cherry AA.
August 28, 2008 at 12:21 am
Very nice.
August 28, 2008 at 6:49 am
You know, it really gets on my tits as well – no other way of saying it other than like that now is there. These people that claim to be one way only show themselves up to the biggest of hypocrites, I think they define the word in all honesty.
It is amazing how each week groups of people who don’t even really know of each others blog all write a similar theme for the week – odd but incredible.
Great post AA, hmm sparks an idea dang!
August 28, 2008 at 7:49 am
@cooper – Thanks! I always know that I got it right when you comment.
@Toaf – Thanks mate. Sucked you in with humor and then take out the hammer.
@SanityFound – It gets to me as well. we have so much crap going on in this world and they have time to peep through the bedroom window? Talk about playing the bloody fiddle while Rome is burning.
August 28, 2008 at 8:14 am
AA: Okay, you SERIOUSLY have blown my F—ing socks off with this one; no, I mean seriously…..I am barefoot underneath my desk……
WOW…… that is all that I can say…… WOW……
Thanks.
August 28, 2008 at 8:28 am
I liked everything I read until the first black line. If you want people to understand your views and your point, insulting them is a bad idea. When you insult the ones who really should read it you scare them off. The only one who read it will be the people that already agree with you, and then what did you accomplish?
I believe in separation of church and state when it comes to marriage. Anyone who wants to be married by law go to city hall, and if they also want to get married before God, they go to a priest / rabbi / imam / etc. And the religious leaders will of course have full right to refuse service to anyone.
For me marriage is a religious thing. I have not yet figured out why secular people marry. Why not just live together? I guess it’s a matter of tradition.
August 28, 2008 at 8:52 am
You go boy! Bigotry comes in all shapes, sizes and fashions.
August 28, 2008 at 10:05 am
Wonderful! I’m lifting the part from Rabbi Daniel Judson for my own journal.
I did giggle at the 2 – 2:30 time slot. That’s a powerful half hour!
Thanks again for being one of the voices that keeps our collective minds from snapping shut!
August 28, 2008 at 10:09 am
Yip, divert divert divert. What’s the saying… a wolf smells his own fart first? No wait erm the guilty party always screams the loudest?… wait perhaps better and I don’t even know if I will get it right because of my aversion but the I love the bible saying “remove the log out of your own eye before you prod the splinter in another” or something at least along those lines.
Lindsey wrote an incredible post a while back Awkward Questions – a bit of reversal if you will
August 28, 2008 at 10:51 am
As long as someone is happy and not hurting others I do not have any issues with it.
Enjoy your life, love be loved and have a blast!
August 28, 2008 at 10:54 am
I get SO preachy about this one, so I apologize in advance… the State can’t force the Church to marry anyone the Church doesn’t want to, it’s never been able to force that, it never will (at least not in the states) and as far as affording protections and equality goes, that’s KIND OF THE STATE’S JOB.
Human beings are human beings, all of them should be able to get whatever protections and rights they need, want, or deserve, so long as it doesn’t impugn the rights of others.
I fail to see how two women getting married impugns my rights.
/end rant.
Sorry, usually I’m more measured. I must be a little irritable today.
August 28, 2008 at 2:57 pm
@vanessaleighsblog – Thank you but… You inspired me to write this. It just makes my blood boil sometimes. We have bigger things to worry about in this world. People bitch about love when what we don’t have enough of in this world is love. I think my patients might be running a wee bit thin! Thank you for that piece you wrote though. That was the “clincher”.
@Tuvia – I know. And I should be more level headed. I think I am most of the time. Then my blood boils over and I see the people who gets hurt and I just snap back at them. I know it isn’t wise and it isn’t a way to convince people. But sometimes the “fight” takes so much out of me that I just want to say “You know what? I am done. I don’t have the patience to argue anymore”. And what you said is true. That’s all we ask of people. Just treat us the same in the eyes of the law. Simple as that. Each Church or Synagogue will decide their own rules of what constitutes a marriage for them. But in the eyes of the law… There should be no discrimination what so ever. And that’s what drives me insane. Sorry I went overboard. really sorry about that. It could be worse… I could have sang it
(You know – we share the same singing abilities!)
@Coffeewallah – It is always dangerous to allow me to write anything if I haven’t had enough coffee in my system. Edgy and then over the edge!
@sahlah – Use it and spread the word! I comes from Rabbi Daniel and I know he would love us using his words.
August 28, 2008 at 4:03 pm
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August 28, 2008 at 4:04 pm
@SanityFound – So true. They just divert, divert, divert. And I am getting sick and tired of having to justify myself (and my friends) to them. Why should I? They don’t listen. Why shoud I waste my energy on them?
@Saffer – That’s it isn’t it mate. Your last sentence, “Enjoy your life, love be loved and have a blast!” Wy can’t people see that? Hell, we are from a little country down South and we get it!
@Lindsey – You go girl! It’s so basic. Just treat and respect people equally. And why should I show them respect when they don’t do it back? I can only do it for so long before I walk away. I get annoyed that I even have to use the word “gay”. It’s just my friends and my buddies. There is no “them”. There is just love. All of us. If there is a them – then I demand to be included in that category. I am “them”.
August 29, 2008 at 12:49 am
Ok, this may seem a little off topic. ’cause up north here we actually allow gay marriage and we have happily married and unmarried gay friends. just as we have happily married and unmarried straight friends. and some not so happily in both cases too.
Anyway, my question is this..what is the test for someone to be “good” enough for your girls? I am struggling with this myself. It seems in my head no one will ever be perfect enough for my babies. Of course, it won’t stop me from supporting them in whatever relationship they choose, simply because I want their happiness more than anything else in the world.
And one more thing, your blog belongs to you. If you want to rant do so. Rant on dear sir!!
August 29, 2008 at 7:02 am
[...] post was inspired by AngryAfrican’s The Gay Agenda and And one more [...]
August 29, 2008 at 7:49 am
@Shawna – Difficult one. I have to trust that what I am giving and teaching my daughters will make sure they will have sound judgement. I don’t really care about the money or status issue. Hey, my wife would never have married me if that was the case! What I do is trust is their sense of love, respect and caring. So, I trust my girls and their judgement first. Secondly, I trust my gut. I believe in my judement of people. That’s my work. I trust people easier than maybe I should. But I believe in people to be better than what we allow them to be. I will see it in their eyes. Not in what they wear or in what they do. In their eyes. Lastly, I will have a set of questions for them. And my girls will know this. The questions is to find out if they are willing to tell me the truth and whether they believe in true justice and equality. A typical question will be : i) What do you think of gay rights/marriage? I won’t tell him/her before the time what I think. I want to hear it from them. it doesn’t have to be academic. They must just be honest. A “I haven’t really thought about it” is a fine answer. (It gives me a chance to “brainwash” them!) I don’t care what religion they belong to (if at all). It doesn’t tell me anything of their soul. Those are my 3 things. (i) Trust my daughters will love the way I love them; (ii) look into their eyes and go with my judgement of people; and (iii) ask them simple questions to see if they are honest and believe in justice and equality. But. And this is a BIG but. If they dare to show any disrespect to my daughters in any way. In any way. And I will know from the look in my daughters eyes when I ask them how they are. If they dare to show any disrespect. ANY. I will come down on them like a ton of bricks. I will take them out. And I mean that in each and every way. I have friends who have friends… And I am from Africa. We don’t take shit. And make no mistake. I WILL tell him/her that when I meet them the first time. Just a warning. I will love you and respect you. But if you do anything that makes my daughter feel less than what she is. I will take you out. And really. I am not joking about that. (You said I the blog belongs to me so I can rant if I want!)
August 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Well, I was okay with the gym and shopping and brunch, and such. I was even okay with taking over all government things at 2p.m. But now three, that is where I draw the line.
Always said, I got no problem with gay marriages unless they tell me I gotta marry a woman, and thus divorce my husband. I draw that line in the sand SIR!!!!!
LOL. Great post there Mr. Angry man. I enjoyed it. you made some excellent points. But then logic, reason, morality, and ethics are all on your side. Kind of unfair to beat up on the stupid right who are after all STUPID.
August 29, 2008 at 1:31 pm
@Sherry – Haha! I told you that you can’t trust “them”. And you are right. It isn’t nice to beat up on the stupid. But hey, I can’t help it when they walk straight into my line of fire.
August 30, 2008 at 9:38 am
dammit now we have to get a new schedule going
August 31, 2008 at 5:10 pm
@amandzing – I told you that you shouldn’t trust me. I spilled the beans and now everyone knows. Maybe early lunch and then take over the world as Plan B?
October 27, 2008 at 2:11 pm
[...] rights… Anyway, you might remember The Idiot’s Guide to Bigotry and The Gay Agenda. Or that time I wanted to say Just One More Thing… Actually, gay issues have been central to [...]
November 14, 2008 at 7:59 pm
[...] The Gay Agenda [...]