How do I love my wife? In so many ways…
I love how I never want to write about my love for her because I know that I can never say it just the way I want to. And how I know that I still wouldn’t be able to say or write it the right way even if I was more gifted than Shakespeare. How words can never tell the story of my love for her. Because words have boundaries.
I love how I travel all over the world and still eat in my hotel room because nothing is worth experiencing without her next to me. How every scene is so much more beautiful and every morsel tastes so much better when she can see it and taste it. I love how she doesn’t get why I eat alone my hotel room.
I love how she holds me and asks me what is wrong when I don’t know how to say what is wrong. When all that is wrong is that the world just got a little bit too heavy. And that all I need is her arms around me to make me feel safe and strong again.
I love how I listen to that stupid Hero song of Enrique and cry because I just want to be her hero. I just want to wipe away the tears. I want to kiss away the pain. I just want to stand by her forever. Because she always takes my breath away.
I love how she has to bite her lip when she laughs when I do my silly South African accents. And how she laughs with no sound and the tears runs down her face. And she’s laughing at my stupid jokes.
I love how she pretends to need me even though she is so much stronger than me. I know she doesn’t climb mountains. She will make the mountains come to her. And that they will just obey.
I love how she speaks with a “little voice” when she gets back from shopping and asks me “Don’t you want to help me carry?” And how I know there will be a little something in there for me.
I love how I try to be funny and tell silly jokes and how I peep at her to see if she is laughing. And how I carry on until I see the beauty of her smile. And the happiness in her laughter.
I love how I used to hate Tom Cruise for taking the best line with “You complete me”. But how I know he didn’t even get close. She makes me. Not complete. She just makes me. Me.
I love how she laughs and shakes her head and says “What am I going to do with you?” whenever I make one of my suggestive comments. And how I do it just to hear those words.
I love how people make fun of me for always talking about my wife whenever they travel with me. How they poke fun at me for missing my wife and always phoning her.
I love how I look at her and compare every girl I see to her. And how no one compares even if they are on the pages of magazines or in leading roles in the movies.
I love how she is the centre of our universe. How she holds everything together and give meaning to our family. Stronger than gravity or any law of science.
I love how my smile gets bigger the closer I get to home. How I just want to run and laugh because I know she will be there and everything will be just fine.
I love how she asks me to tickle her back and that I have no hope in hell of getting one back. But how I don’t mind because I just love touching her.
I love how she wanted me even though she could get anyone she wanted. And how she stays with me even though she can get anyone she wants.
I love seeing her walk and watching her when she doesn’t know I am looking. And how I still have to build up the courage to ask her out.
I love how her hand feels in mine when we walk with the girls. I love how I touch her while she’s walking and kiss her on her cheek.
I love how I tell her I love her whenever I see her. Even if I just came into the kitchen from the lounge. I love how she says it back.
I love how my heart still races when I kiss her when we make out. How her lips make me forget everything that makes me mad.
I love how she had a picture of Sawyer from Lost on her screen and how she doesn’t know I have one of her on mine.
I love how she acts all needy when she wants me to get her some Coke or crisps. And how I love getting it for her.
I love how it sometimes feels as if I am going to burst because our love feels like it is bigger than the cosmos.
I love how she buys me the new Springsteen album even though she hates his music because I overplayed it.
I love how she used to remind me of Sinead O’Connor, but how Sinead now reminds me of my wife.
I love how she is the last person I speak to before I fly off and the first person I phone when I land.
I love how I still get butterflies when she reaches for my hand without her knowing she is doing it.
I love how she eggs me on to go play with the girls even though she knows it will drive her crazy.
I love how she is the first thing that touches my lips in the morning and the last thing at night.
I love how she holds me and looks into my eyes when she tells me that she loves me more.
I love how I know why John was clinging to Yoko like that on the Rolling Stones cover.
I love how she phones me 4 or 5 times a day even if I can only take a call or two.
I love how I know what it means to love someone more than I love life.
I love how I know every part of her body but still don’t know enough.
I love how she completes my sentences and makes more sense.
I love how she puts her hand on my leg when we go for a drive.
I love how she believes in me even when I have my doubts.
I love how I would rather be at home than anywhere else.
I love how I do everything just to impress her.
I love how I know real love because of her.
I love how she loves me.
I love how I love her.
I love her.
I love how I can write another million words and still not tell you how I love my wife.


September 15, 2008 at 9:10 am
Awesome post man, aren’t we just so damn lucky to find our soul mates?
September 15, 2008 at 11:52 am
The entire post contradicts the first passage…
Beautifully written! I’ve never been able to describe love that well in words, but it’s exactly how I feel about my wife! True love does exist!
Uhm… honey! Read Angryafrican’s latest blog post! And… uhm… pretend I wrote it about you…
September 15, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Beautiful beyond words..!
I got my husband (who never goes near a blog – not even with a bargepole..!) to read it and he said : “he took the words right out of my mouth”..!
Thank you for putting so beautifully into words what, I’d like to think, a lot of gentlemen feel about their ladies (wives, partners…whatever)…
Good God, we, readers are being spoilt with all these love-filled posts – I’m off to dream of my husband of almost 20 years who has just (via you) made me a “déclaration d’amour” – well, he would, he’s French..:)
September 15, 2008 at 8:44 pm
How wonderful for you and your wife that you share so much love.
September 15, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Aww, man, that’s beautiful! When I grow up. . . I wanna love like that!
September 15, 2008 at 11:25 pm
my heart rejoice to know that there are still ‘gentlemen’ who are not `afraid’ to express their heart and reveal their soul to their mate …. cheers!
September 16, 2008 at 1:17 am
My wife’s comment to me was “I know you love me just as much – but at least HE is TRYING to write it!”
Now I have to try to write something… and there’s no WAY it’ll be as good as yours! What’ve you done to me, man!
September 16, 2008 at 5:52 am
AA and AB you are truely blessed beyond words, the both of you. To share this kind of love, to have it and to hold it, for your kids to witness it and to experience it. Wow is all I can truly say, wow.
September 16, 2008 at 6:12 am
Well that’s just going to make me cry! I just sent it to my boyfriend, cause he is always telling me things like that (you have def. taken some of the words out his mouth there!) but he “thinks” he can’t ever express himself properly.
There’s a good chance I’ll print it out and send it with him when he leaves me for some godforsaken Angolan town for a month or two…to remind him that I do know how much he loves me & I will never forget it, even when he is far away & I will fight to ensure that love lasts.
He loved the comment you left on my blog the other day… to know he can still be so dodgily in love & lust in 15 years onwards!
September 16, 2008 at 12:10 pm
That is the most beautiful thing I have ever read from a man to his wife in my entire life. It sent chills down my spine. It was beyond outstanding. Every man should feel this about his wife, and appreciate her in this way. It filled my heart with love and joy.
This should be published………..
September 16, 2008 at 5:20 pm
How beautiful!
September 16, 2008 at 9:50 pm
AA: I am just awestruck with this beautiful love message about your beloved, to your beloved, with your beloved. Your love for her, and she for you and for your family, is so inspiring and real and touchable. And, so many of the sentences that you wrote, sound like my “wife” to me; right down to why John was holding Yoko like that on the Rolling Stones cover. I absolutely adored that picture. I was thinking of my honey and my love today, just driving in my car, and it moved me to tears… I feel as blessed as you are as well……
“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make…” Abbey Road, The Beatles…..
Love you buddy, cannot wait to meet this loving family someday!!!!
September 17, 2008 at 8:30 am
Okay, so you asked me the other day why I have not responded…how on earth do I do that? You have set the bar and no matter what I say, I can’t top it.
But I will say, I love you dearly and I just want to say thank you….
September 17, 2008 at 10:43 am
@Saffer – You said it boet. You said it.
@thatdudeyouknow – Haha! Got you back for laughing at me! Remember the finger pointing when I met John le Carre? It’s the couch for you my man!
@India J – Now that is a compliment. A Frenchman saying they liked it. I mean really. The French can make a cigarette sound like a proposal!
@Jan – We are damn lucky. And in love.
@alisha9 – Haha! But what would your mom say if the guy goes on and on about politics like me? “Damn”.
@fely777 – Well, it took me long enough to write this. I have been trying to write it for months. Even now it seems incomplete. Maybe we should just say it instead of overthinking it.
@SanityFound – Yep. We are a damn lucky family. In a way our moving around made it stronger because we had no one else to rely on or distract us.
@Champagne Heathen – Sounds like you found someone you could have that love with. It is awsome. And tell him it never gets any worse. It only gets better. And I know how he feels!
@Amber – I do think that many men feel this way. But we are too scared to say it. Scared that it might not sound just perfect. That there will be holes. Instead of finding a reason to just write it we find reasons to delay it forever.
@ame i. – Thank you!
@vanessaleighsblog – I almost put that picture on the post. I never got it until I saw it again the other day. And I went “Yeah! I get it John!” We are damn lucky. And I can’t wait to meet you’re family either! We should organize one big party at some stage.
@A broad – I love you. It’s sometimes more difficult to say all this aloud. Because I am not the greatest of speakers. But this is how I feel about you my love. My baby! And babe!
September 17, 2008 at 11:48 am
You know, I did actually tag you but then I thought “no, he’s going to think I’m some strange woman looking for a rabbit to boil”.
Can I still tag you? Is it allowed to tag 5 people? Ah what the hell – Your tagged!
Psst – How about Catherine Zeta Jones….
September 17, 2008 at 5:23 pm
@Caroline – Hehe! “some strange woman looking for a rabbit to boil!” Excellent! Thanks for the tag! I am going to use it this weekend. Never done a tage before. So let’s see how it goes.
September 19, 2008 at 10:12 am
Well dude, I’d say you wife is one lucky woman, but I’m guessing she knows that. I am similarly blessed with a magnficient husband. He writes such prose to me from time to time. You guys must get together and write a book about how to love your wife. Maybe with tear out sections for other less capable men to use for their own wives. LOL. Thanks AA, just a sweet end of the week. You always seem to have the best closing for me.
September 19, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Great Post!
I was reading it and thinking about my wife.
I miss her and the girls!
September 19, 2008 at 11:09 pm
@Sherry – I think your husband and me are the lucky people. The only reason why we are this way is because of the people we love and who love us back.
@scienkoptic – Not easy to be away from them hey? I am lucky that I don’t travel than often anymore. It’s the missing part I couldn’t handle anymore.
September 20, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Met you through my brothers web site, Shadythicket. Great stuff. Except maybe the political posts. This one was pretty spot on. My wife just walked out the door to go shopping and I really wanted her to stay.
I’ll be checking in more often. The posts are long so it might take me a while to get up to speed.
Cheers
September 20, 2008 at 10:39 pm
@skuttlefish – Welcome! we are damn lucky to have someone by our side who makes us better than what we deserve hey? And sorry about the politics. Blame it on… hey… just blame me! It’s just me on my rants. I go overboard but try to come back to earth to talk about the stuff that are really important to me. Life and family.
September 21, 2008 at 4:17 pm
[...] How I love my wife should be published in The newspaper like this letter along with perhaps something along the lines of Things You Don’t Say to Your Wife. You see Women are always right no matter what that Funny Keyboard says or implies. [...]
September 23, 2008 at 12:40 pm
That’s really beautiful.
September 23, 2008 at 6:50 pm
@mindexplosion – Thank you. I am one damn lucky guy.
September 27, 2008 at 7:05 pm
SHE IS A MIX OF BEAUTY, HAPPINESS, LOVE, AND INNOCENCE…
September 28, 2008 at 3:51 pm
I was all teared up but holding it in until you got to the ‘loves me more’ and the John and Yoko–it’s wonderful isn’t it?
You belie your introduction sir.
Just awesome.
September 28, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Sigh…thanks for raising the bar for the rest of us, partner
September 28, 2008 at 4:21 pm
@Turnbaby – Thank you! haven’t seen your smiling face for a while! Oh, I love her alright!
@Brad – Brad! Wow. Now this is an honor. You are the most gifted writer I know. And the funniest dude around. Just an honor my man. But you see Turnbaby showed up so you better start writing! Thank you Brad.
October 15, 2008 at 5:10 am
Beautifully written!!!! Love is just like that….its in the small things.!!!!
I enjoyed reading this one over my husband’s shoulder (ranjitwarrier.blogspot.com), and I enjoyed it again this morning!!!!
November 11, 2008 at 3:12 am
I loved reading this post. So detailed and showing she is your best friend. I look forward to the future, when I will hear these and more words from my future husband. Before one is at this point, you hear all these accolades from friends and family – here’s toasting marriages where the goal of the person is to cherish the other and bring the tiny things into sharp focus.
This definitely warms my heart as I prepare for the next step in this wonderful journey that is life.
November 21, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I was on the verge of losing hope that a man can love like that. And then I saw this. What a tribute to love! It is breathtakingly beautiful!
This is how I dream true love to be. You know, thanks to your reminder that true love can really be, I will keep the faith and settle for no less. It may take forever but one day it will happen. Thanks!
November 27, 2008 at 1:09 am
[...] How I love my wife. [...]
November 29, 2008 at 12:19 am
Lucky wife. is a man of few words, but I know he loves me.
December 14, 2008 at 12:35 am
[...] How I love my wife [...]
January 20, 2009 at 6:16 pm
ERM YEAH, THE ONE THING IS,
I DONT THINK HUSBANDS AND WIVES REALLY DESERVE LOVE LIKE THAT, THEY ALL GO OUT AN CHEAT ON YOU. ITS FANTASY WORLD TO ME. I’M A REAL SKEPTIC ABOUT ALL OF THIS STUFF.
I don’t know any one that could be that genuine. I don’t know if I will ever know anyone that genuine.
Look at the infidelity statistics, something around 66% infidelity rate commited by females and 57% of men, IN AMERICA.
Also, so many problems occur in marraige.
It seems more like a phase.
I know I gotta change my views. but how?!
January 26, 2009 at 5:58 pm
this is the sapiest thing i have heard in quite a while…
get a life
July 20, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I am working on my own list of 100 things I love about my wife. You’ve written several that express what I feel about her. Thanks for the inspiration.
In addition, your whole post is a beautiful expression of your love. I’m going to print it out and read it to my wife, telling her this is what I would say if I were a better writer. Thanks, man.
August 20, 2010 at 9:19 pm
hm. me too. except you probably don’t have a Perfect wife like mine.
She is Wisdom itself.
December 20, 2011 at 6:21 pm
Beautiful! I’ve being searching online for a post like this and all I could find was: I care for my wife but I love another woman, I don’t love her anymore and more. It’s nice to find posts that still hold on to marriage. I appreciate this post even more than love-at-first-sight posts, love-but-can’t-have-her-posts and even cute-pre-marriage-love posts because this shows that love can exist even long after marriage. Thanks for posting!