This is going to be a long post – sorry. But it is about two people I met that made me rethink my definition of what evil might be. Two guys I always thought were the definition of evil. But I met them both briefly (and “stalked” one) and that made me question the meaning of evil. So I have to tell you about them to get to my story. Sorry – be patient. You know I am not into short blogs in any case!
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The Big Crocodile (1991):
One of the most evil men in the history of South Africa was PW Botha – Pieter Willem Botha. He was the last Prime Minister of the Apartheid Regime – and their first President of power. Oh man he was bad, bad news. Under his “command” more than 2,000 people died at the hand of the “security forces” (Security? As if they were protecting anything valuable). And more than 25,000 people were detained without being charged and often tortured (this last one sounds oddly familiar to recent US policies – except for the number of people). While he was Prime Minister in South Africa he also started the South African secret nuclear weapons programme with Israel and established the notorious police counter-insurgency unit – Koevoet (Crowbar). Yes, he was bad, bad news.
He was a racist to the core. Here, read this and see what you think. In his own words, “Blacks look like human beings and act like human beings do not necessarily make them sensible human beings. Hedgehogs are not porcupines and lizards are not crocodiles simply because they look alike. If God wanted us to be equal to the Black, he would have created us all of a uniform colour“. I hope you don’t need more convincing that PW stood for “Pure White” or “Pretty Wretched”.
He wasn’t just a racist and killer though. He was also a coward. Of sorts. He started his career by supporting the South African Nazi movement in WWII. But then changed his mind when he saw that they were going to lose. So he is cowardly in his warped convictions as well. Just a bad man all together. As evil as you can get. But to the Afrikaners who supported him during Apartheid – he was their bread and Botha. He meant everything to them because he kept them in power. And kept them “safe and seperate”. With a strong hand on the rifle. Of course you won’t find any of them today. It’s like asking the school class who had the “accident” in the bathroom - no one is willing to admit that it was them in public.
We called him “Groot Krokodil” in South Africa. Meaning Big Crocodile. Mostly because he will take a bite at everything and his skin was as thick as the skin of a crocodile. And he was pretty ugly as well. Just like a crocodile. We didn’t shed any crocodile tears when he died on 31 October 2006. No tears for him. He was a bad dream from our past. A past we didn’t want to be reminded of. And I met the man. Briefly. But I was also a bit of a stalker in my own way.
My wife’s father used to own a local car dealership in the town close to where Groot Krokodil lived. And he used to come and buy a new car there every few years. And with our luck we were there when he came the last time. My wife was working at the garage during the university break and I came up to visit her. And I worked at the garage as well. Worked at the forecourt – or petrol pumps. Yes, he owned both a car dealership and a gas station. All I did was sit in the forecourt and enjoy the scenery. Filling up cars as they came back from the beach or taxis taking people home. It was fun. I sat outside in the summer sunshine and enjoyed working there. I got to see my future wife often enough – and that was a major bonus.
I went inside to say hello – she was working the telephones. And we hang out – not to make out. Not with her dad there! I had my own nickname for him – but not for public consumption! He is an unbelievably nice guy. I really love and like him. Good guy who always pulls the mickey out of me. Hey, I took him to his first Bruins game (and mine) when they came to visit. But, again, I digress.
I was hanging out with her when he walked in. PW. He was old. Really old. This was back in December 1991. The ANC was unbanned and Mandela was free – but we were still negotiating the terms of our new democracy. It sounds odd – the terms of our democracy. But back then the Apartheid ruling party, the National Party, still believed that democracy was too good to share with everybody. PW wasn’t in charge anymore. He suffered a mild stroke in January 1989. He resigned as leader of the National Party in February, hoping that his hand-picked man will take over. But the National Party elected FW de Klerk as the National Party leader in February and as President in March. PW Botha refused to go. Typical. But by August he was completely alienated and forced to go. Oh man, you should have heard his speech. It was full of hatred for everyone – especially those in the National Party leadership. But he was history by now. A few months later FW would free Nelson Mandela and unban the ANC. PW was a bitter old man by the time he walked into the dealership.
He came in to service his car. My future wife and I walked into my father-in-law’s office and we walked right into PW. They knew how I felt about this guy so there was no way we were going to hang out with him! My father-in-law introduced us and PW started asking my future wife what she was studying. He studied at the same university as us when he was young – Stellenbosch University. My wife looked at him and gave him a little knowing smile (her I-dare-you-to-go-there smile). And then she said slowly, “Political Science”. He blinked and pulled his head back even further – as if he smelled something bad. He stared at her for a little while and then said quietly, “Another cat amongst the pigeons”.
I knew that look in my future wife’s eyes. It was a challenge. A challenge saying – come-on-you-want-some-of-this? You think I am the Angry African? Ha. Don’t piss her off. She is the tough one. I knew that it was time to get her out. He was an old old man. And a stupid man. An easy target. And he would underestimate her and get his backside kicked. So I made my excuses and got her out of there. But it wasn’t the end of me and PW.
I knew where he lived. Every now and again we would drive there and stop a bit down the road where he lived in a quiet dead-end road. Dead-end road made sense for a dead-end human being. And I would wait in that car to see him come out for his daily walk. Security police and all. Him, his wife and their dogs. Little brakkies en mat-kakkers. Little dogs – useless dogs for a guy like him. And we’ll sit in the car and stare at this old man, his wife and their dogs walking down the road. He was getting really old now. Walking with a walking stick and slowly moving along. Playfully patting the dogs and his wife with his walking stick. Like any old man just taking a walk knowing that it is one of those last pleasures left in life. Just an old man walking the dogs and loving his wife with the sun shining on his back. He wasn’t much of a crocodile anymore. Just a slow shuffle of a walk like a wounded crocodile trying to get back into the water. But a toothless one.
The Guguleto 7 (2002):
We were down at the beach at Betty’s Bay with our friends. They had a place there. Or rather, her dad had a place there that they used. We had fun. The girls were playing on the beach looking for shells and playing in the little pools. We had a few beers and some crayfish and a braai. It was fun. Just the perfect weekend. Away from the craziness at work. Just the six of us hanging out and talking crap. Yes, Oosie and me knew how to talk crap. We were very different – me an activist and him a cop, but we could talk crap for hours and hours. Amuse ourselves with stories that just kept on piling up with the sh*t we spoke. My wife and his wife would just look at us and laugh at the nonsense we could talk without any signs of slowing down. But it was time to go and stock up. So we took a drive to Kleinmond (“Small Mouth” refering to the mouth of the river) – a town just a few miles down the road.
I love Kleinmond. I have good memories of it. My ouma (grandmother) used to live there and I remember going there to visit. And she used to make me roosterkoek (type of bread) on the open fire. She made the best roosterkoek ever. With butter from the farm melting as she took it off the fire and broke it open with her bare hands. I was young when she died. But I remember her. This fragile old woman who used to smell like fresh bread and hugged me when she gave me those roosterkoek. I loved my ouma. Again, I digress.
We drove into Kleinmond and bought our “things” (beer and… hum… more beer. Oh, and wood for the braai). Oosie decided to take us for a drive through town. Down to the beach area to show us where they fish. We drove slowly as there were loads of people hanging around. Oosiestopped the car as an older guy walked up to the car waving. He looked like a typical newly retired guy. A wide open friendly face with not a worry in the world. They spoke and laughed a bit about some guy they both know who got into trouble with the fisheries inspector again and shared news on how their families were doing. I was between Oosie and the guy leaning in the window talking. I can remember his face well. He had laugh lines all over his face. He looked like a guy I can sit and have a beer with. And share crap stories with. He had shorts, an open buttoned checked shirt, socks with sandals, and a fisherman’s hat on. Typical South African though – he had a paunch from the beer and meat - what we call a boep. He could be anyone’s dad. He just looked and sounded like a really good guy. A family man with friends and stories to share around the fire.
Oosie and the guy said goodbye and we drove off. Oosie knew my politics, but we hardly spoke about it. We didn’t share the same views on everything. But then, I never let politics alone define my relationships and friendships. If I did I would have very few friends left in this world. Anyway, Oosie was quiet for a bit while we drove off. After a bit he asked me whether I knew who the guy was. I said no – but obviously a friend of Oosie’s family. He looked at me and said, “He was in charge of the Guguleto 7 hit squad”. Oh man, it was like a ton of bricks hit me. Stunned.
The Guguleto 7 were 7 guys from the ANC who got brutally murdered by the a secret police hit squad in South Africa in 1986. This police hit squad operated from a secret location called Vlakplaas. The most evil things happened there. Murder, executions, torture, rape – you name it and they did it. It was the centre of all things evil under Apartheid. The Guguleto 7 were ANC supporters who got lured in by the hit squad and were brutally murdered. For ANC supporters (including myself) the Guguleto 7 became a rallying cry for the murdering of our people to stop. It united people against Apartheid. And hardened the resistance to Apartheid. And this guy was in charge of the hit squad who murdered the Guguleto 7. He was what I saw as the epitome of evil. Leading a hit squad. And now I knew who he was.
That was the problem. I thought he was a good guy. Someone I can hang around with. Someone to sit with around the fire and share a few beers and talk crap. How do you hate someone you liked 5 minutes ago? But the same someone who you hated for 16 long years?
PW and the nameless monster (I never wanted to know his name). The two of them taught me a lesson on evil. People do evil, evil deeds. But somehow they still manage to look in the mirror and believe in themselves. Bigots yes. But they are not the woman beaters, serial killers, child abusers or rapist we think they are. Evil people are people who do the same things we do. They are never the obvious bad people that stand out in a crowd. Or who we hope they are. They love and live their lives in very similar ways we do. Talk crap with friends while having a beer around the fire. Taking their loved ones and the dogs for a walk. Loving their kids and wives and enjoying retirement. Enjoying the sunshine and open spaces. Evil people are normal people. They are around us and they are in us. You will walk past them in the streets without looking twice. They can sit on the other side of the table and you might never know. They can lean in and talk to you with a genuine smile on their face. And that makes it hard to hate. And knowing that they live lives just like us. When you have met them and stalked them. And when you have liked them. That makes it difficult. How do they do it? How do they sleep at night and still laugh and love. How do they do it when they do the things they do? And how do we hate them when we see their other side? It’s not that easy…
I knew the grandson of PW. I knew him before I knew who his grandfather was. He was at university with me and although not an activist we still shared friends and good times. And even when I knew who his grandad was it didn’t change our relationship. Just every now and again I would rant against PW and his evil ways and he would go quiet and say in a whisper, “But he is still my grandad”. That’s the thing. We can hate the sin. We must hate the sin. But it is difficult to hate the sinner. Especially if you know them and have seen them live their lives the way we all do. It takes a special person to hate those they know. Evil. Evil is evil. But just not always expressed the way we expect or hope.
I don’t know. I don’t know much about handling evil. But I know we walk with crocodiles everyday. We just don’t always know it. And they don’t always look like crocodiles.

March 23, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Somewhere in that recent speech by Obama there was something about how we come from different backgrounds, that we can’t understand how it feels to be the person from the other side of the fence, but that all of us, no matter how different we are, want the same future — a future you and I can both probably agree should be free of oppression, exploitation, mistrust, intimidation or fear.
What I think I see in your blog is someone who has every right to be an angry, but who also insists on civilisation, integrity and decency. My political views differ from yours, as they would since they are based my own perceptions and experiences (which now tell me to feel quite nervous about Zuma becoming president of the ANC and the ANC trying to disband the Scorpions; and the end result is that I’ll probably vote for the DA or the Independent Democrats, not because I like them, but because they’re not the ANC). What we can share, though, is an appreciation of civilisation, integrity and decency. If we can have that, then it doesn’t matter how different we are. I wish you well and hope you keep this blog going for a long time to come.
March 23, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Crikey! You can talk about the crocs without walking in the murky water!
March 26, 2008 at 12:29 am
It would be nice if they could grow devil’s horns. That way, we could tell them apart from the guy down the streat. At least, now I know where that wierd triangular swastika came from. I had always suspected it had something to do with Nazism. Now I know.
What you talk about here isn’t completely foreign to me. It’s just 99% foreign. That other one percent I think I might have a case for claiming to understand. I’ve talked to my brother in law and other freinds about just how they as Black men and women manage to deal with people who are racists. A comparison with bad weather is one of the best shortcuts to the concept I can think of.
I honestly feel I have a very good understanding of it, and I apply it to my own life. I try to learn from eveyone if they offer something that makes life a little bit easier. I think the things I’ve learned from them have been a great help when I’m confronted with some of life’s uglier situations.
Let’s just say at least I won’t die of a heart attack from getting all worked up.
Tonight, only two hours ago, I had a discussion with him about a freind of his who is not a racist, but is as about close to being one as you can get. I’m respecting his judgment on this, and we’ve discussed this individual many times. This individual is a his long time friend.
His friend was raised how he was raised, and he’s not going to change who he is. The bond between them is the mutual acceptance of how each of them are, without being judgemental. It’s a difference in their upbringing, and that’s all. Their friendship is based on their experiences together, and those other things that lie outside the scope of race, and which characterize most good freindships anyway.
Both of them seem to be happy with this, and I actually see the wisdom in it. Maybe people can only go so far in trying to change their immediate world, but at least if the mutual respect is there, that’s enough.
For my brother in law’s part, he understands that some of his friends’ beliefs would be uncomfortable for me to accept. On my part, I am willing to accept his statement that he is not a racist and does have a good heart. I really believe that, despite what would be, to some people, an appearant contradiction.
I guess the fact that I’m 54, and am starting to learn how to winnow the seed from the chaff, has something to do with it too…
December 15, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Wow, I love the way you write…totally irrelevant to the topic of this post. But I do. :]
February 9, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Someone I loved and trusted turned on me this fall and reared his ugly, evil head. In turn I defended myself with a strong offense…also, evil and ugly. When you put it so eloquently I am reminded of the potential in all of us to be that evil one. It’s a sad, sad fact of humanity. I only hope that we are able to find ways to weed out the ugly and move forward with clean hearts, loving and wanting the best for all people. BRAVO!
PS The damage that person and I did to our relationship is not repairable and so we have had to move forward without one another, it is difficult given that we will continue to move in the same circles and the fallout for the mutual people in our lives has been difficult. sad
February 10, 2009 at 12:37 am
What an excellent entry!
It is so true about what you say about us white South Africans. It is pretty hard to find the racists among us these days. They seem to have vanished into thin air.
February 10, 2009 at 2:12 am
Man… if wisdom comes from sorrow – you must have had a VERY hard life.
February 10, 2009 at 9:08 am
Wonderfully written!…evil has so many forms..I agree with you..the most menacing evil is when its in your every day person..
February 10, 2009 at 9:17 pm
I wonder that maybe the most menacing evil might be that which does not recognize itself as evil…
March 10, 2009 at 8:31 am
To all and sundry out there…I live in South Africa. I’m a 30 something white male. Trust me…racism exists today in SA. It’s so blatant that its published in our laws. the ruling government in SA today EXPLICITLY descriminates against white people in terms of education and employment opportunities. recently, white journalists weren’t even allowed to attend a public form. So before every bleeding heart liberalist gets on their high horse and proclaims that racism is only a one way street – think again. It forms part of the ruling regime’s current and long term goals in SA. Racism is part of party manifesto for goodness sake. How are laws, made purely as punitive measures against whites based SOLOELY on skin colour NOT racist. Again A…you missed the “other” side to teh story!! Thanks for the unbiased article. You might be able to pull the wool over the naive and non-SAcan, but not me.
And by the way, i do NOT condone PW Botha or anything that apaertheid stood for. I am simply the unlucky recipient today of racism in a punitive form for acts exacted against majorities WAAAAAAAAAAAY before my time.
March 13, 2009 at 6:05 am
SA also has the second highest murder rate per capita in the world. The white commercial farmers in SA were noted on Genocide Watch (check for yourself)as their murder rate is higher than the civilian death rate in Iraq during the war. There is evidence to claim it is an orchestrated campaign of violence exacted against these farmers because of the colour of their skin. The acts of violence exacted against these farmers include the burning of toddlers – for nothing. Nothing is even reportedly stolen in most cases. This is sick and racist violence in its purest form. The farmer death rate is 8x the SA death rate – which is already appalling (2nd highest in the world). The sooner the world realises that SAcans are living in a low intensity war, the better. The World Cup must be taken away from SA by the world (if it cares) as a stand of unity against this regime’s policy on crime and racism. Please, investigate this for yourself if you don’t believe me. Zimbabwe will appear angelic once SA’s facts are known to the world. Recently, the World Economic Forum ranked SA 131st out of 133 countries in terms of safety and security. Now please tell me how we can host the 2010 FIFA world cup when we have one of the worst records for safety and security. Pls, spread the word that this regime is pulling the wool over the world’s eyes – my safety is questioned daily. Foreign vistors, be warned.
Why do you think AA no longer lives in SA? In fact, why do you think the SA government will not release the emmigration figures?
The irony is that AA can be directly blamed along with the rest of his “comrades” for creating this bloodbath. he was directly involved in the “enabling” of the violence which is evident in SA today through his links with the ANC and his beloved communists.
Shame on you.
November 23, 2009 at 2:51 am
can you please send me that speech of PW BOTHA