November 27, 2008

My wife and I (or It’s been 15 years baby!)

Posted by Henk Campher under anniversary, happiness, I love my wife, life, live, love, wife | Tags: , , , , , |
[17] Comments 

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You know about me and my lovely suffering wife. You might have noticed that I like her. I like her a lot.

Okay, maybe like isn’t the right word. I love her more than anything else in the world. Anything.

And guess what! On Thanksgiving Day we celebrate another special day. Our day. We have been married for 15 years. Or as she might want to say, “15 long, long years”. It feels like yesterday. Only better.

Yeah! 15 years baby! And I can’t wait for the next 50! (Or more, please.)

With her I am not the Angry African. With her I am just me. Baggage and all. Hang-ups and all. She makes me.

I am happy because she makes me a better person than what I really am. She makes me want to be a hero just for her. No one else. And she makes me want to change the world. Because she deserves a world of peace, love and happiness. She deserves nothing less but a perfect life. And I want to give that to her. A world like her.

I am happy because she taught me how to love completely. I never have to hold back or look back. Loving her makes me. Without her love there is no love. But because I have her love I can love so much more. And it grows every day. It feels like I will explode with happiness and love. That is how she makes me feel.

I am happy because she has shown me how to live. Each day with her is another day of life worth living. Because I am with her. A life. Another day of feeling the way I feel. And tomorrow brings even more. She makes me believe I can take on the world. I can take it on and that we can win. Live life. That is who she is.

I am happy because every single day of my life is better than the day before. And tomorrow will be even better. All because she loved me yesterday, she loves me today, and tomorrow we will love even more. She loves me and makes each day a better day. She brings the sunshine to my life. That is who she is.

I am happy because I am nothing without her. She is my life. She makes me complete. She makes me live life. That is who she is.

Without her I will fail. Without her I can’t love the way I do. Without her I can’t be who I am. Without her there is no me. There is no life to live.

I love my wife. And you will never know how much.

Babe, thank you so much for giving me 15 years of happiness I never knew anyone could have. Thank you for giving me a future I can’t wait to see. Thank you for making me a better person than who I am. Thank you for loving me the way you do. Thank you for being so cocky. Thank you for telling me to shut up and not be so full of myself. Thank you for laughing at my stupid jokes. Thank you for making me the dad I want to be. Thank you for letting me be crazy with our girls. Thank you for giving us the girls. Thank you for loving me the way I am. Thank you for telling me to calm down. Thank you for letting me take on the world. Thank you for hugging me so tight. Thank you for humoring me. Thank you for hanging out with me. Thank you for hanging on to me! Thank you for giving me a reason to live. Thank you for letting me fight another day. Thank you for being so strong. Thank you for crying when you do. Thank you for the way you kiss. Thank you for holding me the way you do. Thank you for letting me love you the way I do. Thank you for just being you. Thank you for my life. Thank you for loving me the way you do. Thank you for living. Thank you for you. I am nothing without you.

You made me. And you make me.

Cheers! For the last 15 years and to the future together. Always.

(Oh, did I mention that she is as hot as hell? Well, be-liev-a me… She IS! And she’s mine!)

…

How do I love my wife? In so many ways… I can never write like that again. It still feels like an incomplete piece. There are so much more missing from there. Word can never describe how I feel about her. Never. But here it is again…

How I love my wife.

How do I love my wife? In so many ways…

I love how I never want to write about my love for her because I know that I can never say it just the way I want to. And how I know that I still wouldn’t be able to say or write it the right way even if I was more gifted than Shakespeare. How words can never tell the story of my love for her. Because words have boundaries.

I love how I travel all over the world and still eat in my hotel room because nothing is worth experiencing without her next to me. How every scene is so much more beautiful and every morsel tastes so much better when she can see it and taste it. I love how she doesn’t get why I eat alone my hotel room.

I love how she holds me and asks me what is wrong when I don’t know how to say what is wrong. When all that is wrong is that the world just got a little bit too heavy. And that all I need is her arms around me to make me feel safe and strong again.

I love how I listen to that stupid Hero song of Enrique and cry because I just want to be her hero. I just want to wipe away the tears. I want to kiss away the pain. I just want to stand by her forever. Because she always takes my breath away.

I love how she has to bite her lip when she laughs when I do my silly South African accents. And how she laughs with no sound and the tears runs down her face. And she’s laughing at my stupid jokes.

I love how she pretends to need me even though she is so much stronger than me. I know she doesn’t climb mountains. She will make the mountains come to her. And that they will just obey.

I love how she speaks with a “little voice” when she gets back from shopping and asks me “Don’t you want to help me carry?” And how I know there will be a little something in there for me.

I love how I try to be funny and tell silly jokes and how I peep at her to see if she is laughing. And how I carry on until I see the beauty of her smile. And the happiness in her laughter.

I love how I used to hate Tom Cruise for taking the best line with “You complete me”. But how I know he didn’t even get close. She makes me. Not complete. She just makes me. Me.

I love how she laughs and shakes her head and says “What am I going to do with you?” whenever I make one of my suggestive comments. And how I do it just to hear those words.

I love how people make fun of me for always talking about my wife whenever they travel with me. How they poke fun at me for missing my wife and always phoning her.

I love how I look at her and compare every girl I see to her. And how no one compares even if they are on the pages of magazines or in leading roles in the movies. 

I love how she is the centre of our universe. How she holds everything together and give meaning to our family. Stronger than gravity or any law of science.

I love how my smile gets bigger the closer I get to home. How I just want to run and laugh because I know she will be there and everything will be just fine.

I love how she asks me to tickle her back and that I have no hope in hell of getting one back. But how I don’t mind because I just love touching her.

I love how she wanted me even though she could get anyone she wanted. And how she stays with me even though she can get anyone she wants. 

I love seeing her walk and watching her when she doesn’t know I am looking. And how I still have to build up the courage to ask her out.

I love how her hand feels in mine when we walk with the girls. I love how I touch her while she’s walking and kiss her on her cheek.

I love how I tell her I love her whenever I see her. Even if I just came into the kitchen from the lounge. I love how she says it back. 

I love how my heart still races when I kiss her when we make out. How her lips make me forget everything that makes me mad.

I love how she had a picture of Sawyer from Lost on her screen and how she doesn’t know I have one of her on mine.

I love how she acts all needy when she wants me to get her some Coke or crisps. And how I love getting it for her.

I love how it sometimes feels as if I am going to burst because our love feels like it is bigger than the cosmos.

I love how she buys me the new Springsteen album even though she hates his music because I overplayed it.

I love how she used to remind me of Sinead O’Connor, but how Sinead now reminds me of my wife.

I love how she is the last person I speak to before I fly off and the first person I phone when I land.

I love how I still get butterflies when she reaches for my hand without her knowing she is doing it.

I love how she eggs me on to go play with the girls even though she knows it will drive her crazy.

I love how she is the first thing that touches my lips in the morning and the last thing at night.

I love how she holds me and looks into my eyes when she tells me that she loves me more.

I love how I know why John was clinging to Yoko like that on the Rolling Stones cover.

I love how she phones me 4 or 5 times a day even if I can only take a call or two.

I love how I know what it means to love someone more than I love life.

I love how I know every part of her body but still don’t know enough.

I love how she completes my sentences and makes more sense.

I love how she puts her hand on my leg when we go for a drive.

I love how she believes in me even when I have my doubts.

I love how I would rather be at home than anywhere else.

I love how I do everything just to impress her.

I love how I know real love because of her.

I love how she loves me.

I love how I love her.

I love her.

I love how I can write another million words and still not tell you how I love my wife.

___________________

Note: I know I drive her crazy. I don’t mean just crazy in love. I mean she has little sanity left thanks to me and the girls. I teach my girls the meaning of life… Like Quick! Pull my finger! Now that is an important lesson to learn. And sometimes I remind them that Love Is In The Air. Or just play her some of our music. But sometimes my wife just kicks me out the car. I cook for her. Well, sort of. She pokes fun at my cooking though. Giving away the Incinerated Chicken – Family Recipe. You want to know how we met? Well, she was The girl I didn’t like that much at first. She’s A Broad all right… Most of all, she is my last 15 years and my future.

Babe, I love you… more!

And I can’t wait for tomorrow…

 

October 17, 2008

Friday Funk for my wife (Hello my baby)

Posted by Henk Campher under life, live, love, marriage, music, wife | Tags: , , , , |
[4] Comments 

It’s been a crazy, crazy week. Work has been busier than what I have experienced for a very long time. And the next few weeks will remain crazy. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel… A little spot called December. Just a flicker, but I hope it is a light and not a train. Not a train smash please.

So I haven’t been my blogging self over the last few days. I haven’t come over to visit much. Sorry about that. I miss reading what you all have to say. I’ll try to catch up over the weekend. And I still have another Souf Efrikan story to tell… About a certain dude family I know…

But in this crazy week… One thing stood out. When I go home. My wife. My lovely, beautiful wife. I just love going home. (And hate leaving home.) I might be tired at night when I go home but feel like running the closer I get to home. And then lying in bed next to her. Drifting off to sleep. Peace.

So this week I am dedicating my Friday Funk to my wife. A few songs that has stuck with us since we started dating. This is for you my baby. Let me start with our first song. And the song that is still our song. And the version we love.

This song was and is our first song. I used to sing (mime) it to her. We used to just turn it up whenever it came on. And then just lie there and listen and laugh. Babe, I can still see clearly now…

Sorry baby, I couldn’t get the video. But then, we never watched the video really… Just the song and the words.

Remember this one? When you played me the song, read me a poem and gave me flowers? It was that moment that we knew we were going to get married one day. And we did. It’s all coming back to me now…

Sorry – again I couldn’t get the video and the only version I could get was the long one. But that was what we listened to…

I could never watch this video without wanting to cry. And I could never watch this video without thinking of you. The hairstyle. That’s the hairstyle you had when we met! And the jaw line. Except you are so much hotter and better looking! Yes, because nothing compares to you…

Remember how we always miss home when we listen to this? I’ve taken you to a few places in our life already. I couldn’t do it if it wasn’t for you. I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t for you. But we are the scatterlings of Africa…

The last one. This song… I listen to it almost every single day. Because this is how I want to be for you. It’s the pumped up version, but that who I want to be. A hero…

I know… It’s soppy. But it’s ours. And I love you.

 

October 12, 2008

Toilet humor

Posted by Henk Campher under blog, blogging, family, funny, humor, Souf Efrika, wife | Tags: , , , , |
[8] Comments 

A Broad (Mrs AA) had a real… hum… sh… aah… odd experience on Friday. I have been waiting for her write about it… I first thought she was just taking the piss… But I promise you it is all true. Go and have a look at her story: I’m Sorry, I Can’t Take Your Call Right Now… Toilet humor at its best…

I’m just getting you back for that Incinerated Chicken – Family Recipe braai story…

 

September 23, 2008

My wife is poking fun at my cooking skills…

Posted by Henk Campher under barbecue, blogging, chicken, life | Tags: , , , |
[15] Comments 

I can’t believe she did it. Hanging our dirty laundry out for everyone to see… You cut me deep. Real deep baby. She decided to spill the beans on my cooking ability. My fight with a chicken. And I lost… Barbeque Chicken 1 : 0 Angry African. Here is the (not so lovely grrr) wife making me suffer about my speciality Incinerated Chicken – Family Recipe. But still. It is damn funny! Enjoy!

I will have my revenge… (laughing like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers… fading slowly into background.)

 

September 23, 2008

Things to do before I die (or How to get kicked out the car)

Posted by Henk Campher under children, culture, dancing, family, fart, funny, girls, happiness, life, live, love, music, tap dancing, things to do before you die, wife | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |
[14] Comments 

You read those lists? The things you should do before you die. For those who love adventure… Go climb Everest and drop a nose on the way down. Go to space with a big wallet and not spaced out on a big joint. Trekking through the jungle on the back of an elephant… And you have to clean up afterwards. Dive with sharks and get to know the meaning of shark bait. Oh, the adventure of it all. But that’s not for me. No thanks.

I don’t mind the adventure. Just too much of a hassle. Not funny enough. Except when things go horribly wrong. And less funny when it happens to me.

Or maybe you want to go for the romantic version. You know. Ride a gondola in Venice. And pinch your nose because of the stench of dirty stale water. See the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. And wonder what the hype is of this small little painting and whether she is hiding her bad teeth or a retainer. Witness a solar eclipse and realize your all new eco-friendly car relies on solar energy to start. Go smell the roses in Indonesia and get stung and chased by killer bees.

Nah. Not fun. No thank you. Not for me. Sounds interesting, but it’s just not for me. I like to do edgy stuff. Things I can share with others. I don’t have a long list. I’ve done many of the things I wanted to do. But I have a few left on my list. You’ll see a trend. I give you my Top 5 things I have to do before I die.

5. There’s a party going on right here:

We don’t eat out often. We like home cooking too much. So it is always a special occasion when our little family of four go to eat out. I always look at the other people in the restaurant thinking, “Why aren’t they smiling more or talking to each other?” People tend to sit there and eat. It doesn’t seem to me like they are really enjoying it. Where’s the party? What I really want to do is get up and start dancing in the aisles singing Celebrationby Kool & The Gang. Grab people by the hand and get them to follow me in my dance through the restaurant. Get everyone to join in. Old and young. Singing, “There’s a party going on right here… let’s all celebrate and have a good time…” Wouldn’t that be cool? Unfortunately I can’t sing and life isn’t a music video. But I still want to do it!

4. Dancing in the street:

This one is a bit similar to number 5. It involves dancing and singing. But in the streets. I commute each day to work and back. I listen to my iPod and off I go. And most people look so sad and miserable going to work and even going home. Tired and not having fun. I wish they could hear my iPod song. And cheer up a bit. So what I really want to do it start singing my old favorite – Love is in the air. Tell them that love is everywhere they look around. And get them to join in the fun. Start running and singing through the streets like a bad 80′s music video. Okay, so they can’t hear the music. But they can believe in it right?

3. Sing-a-long:

Another song. Another setting. I’m at a conference speaking. It’s the last session. Everyone just wants to go home. And I want to end it in a bang. What better than A little less conversation? I can pull off all my dance moves right there on the stage. Even try an Elvis shake of the leg. And pointing to the crowd. The splits might hurt, but it might just be worth a shot. I can get them to join me on stage and do a sing-a-long. Wouldn’t that be cool? Everyone having fun and going home with a smile. I think that might just give them something to actually remember. I don’t think I’ll be invited back to come and speak again though… But it will send another strong message. Less talking, more doing.

2. Pull my finger:  

No more singing. I can’t sing in any case. This one is pretty straight forward. I want to be at one of these high powered meetings I sometimes attend. Somewhere with a CEO or ex-President (or future President) or big wig from the UN or G8 or something. It’s photo-op time. We all stand there in our best suits. Getting ready to smile for the cameras. Looking all serious because of course we don’t have a real life. I lean in to the guy next to me and say in a whisper as if sharing a deep moment with him, “Pull my finger”. I just wonder what he would do. Will he laugh loud enough for others to turn around or would he be too serious and turn away from me? Will he pull it? And if he does, what should I do? And do I need to learn this little phrase in different languages to “pull” it off?

1. A little tap dance move:

I’ve been burning to do this one for ages. This one and the restaurant one. I have gotten so close to doing it before. But then stopped before I do it. Maybe one day just before I retire. It’s a big client meeting or a small high level meeting somewhere – maybe the WTO. The group is sitting around a table and deeply involved in solving some or other “complex” issue. Negotiating this way and that way. Frowns everywhere. Serious people doing serious stuff. And I jump up and do a little tap dancing number right there and then. Maybe even jump on the table for everyone to see it. But I’ll be okay with just a short little Fred Astaire or Gregory Hines move next to my chair with my tongue sticking out as I concentrate on my feet tapping. All I need is 5 seconds. I can live with that. Just a quick one. A little tap dancing number and I’ll sit down as if nothing happened, “Now, where were we?” That I really would like to do. And I know that I will. Sometime. Somewhere. Somehow.

You see the trend? It’s about people. And how they react to different things. I do things just to see how people will react. Sometimes I get punished for what I do…

One of my favorite things is to dance in the car. Suffering wife will be driving and I’ll be making all my dancing moves in the passenger seat. You might think being stuck in a seat will limited my movement. No way! I move baby! My head and arms are free. So I can do the wave-to-your-friends-and-to-the-heavens-while-swinging-your-head-from-side-to-side-looking-slightly-down-and-bobbing move. The let’s-make-as-if-we-are-washing-windows-while-biting-the-bottom-lip. And my personal favorite, the arm-extended-pointing-to-a-person-in-the-crowd. Oh, that’s just a few – I have so many moves. And it doesn’t take much to get me going. Or to get me into trouble.

We were driving back from taking the girls to the park on Sunday. And Pink came on the radio singing her new song. I can’t even remember what it sounded like. But it had some disco-type beat. Enough to trigger a “smooth” dance routine. And enough for me to start singing songs dedicated to those driving in the car or cars next to us. But actually, it started before that already.

I love waving at people. Especially people I don’t know. It gives them something to think about. I always imagine them in their cars. Bored and grumpy. And all of a sudden they see a guy waving at them from the car coming from the opposite direction. But in a flash the guy is gone. And they think, “Who was that?” It’ll keep them busy for a few minutes. I generally time it perfectly for them to wave back on instinct and then do the “wondering” as they carry on in the opposite direction. I love it. Hell, my oldest daughter and me sit on the front porch and do it at the cars driving past our house! No clue who the heck they are. But I bet you they’ll remember us for a few minutes while they try to figure out who those two idiots were. Haha! Some even wave back when they drive past us our house on another day. Spread some love baby.

But the suffering wife isn’t always that impressed. She just laughs and shakes her head. And say the word I hear so often, “You!” It generally goes with the shake of the head. And the more she shakes her head and laughs the more I’ll do it. The girls love it. I start the dance moves up front and they do theirs at the back. And the three of us wave at cars as they drive past. Fun in the car.

But on Sunday the suffering wife pulled one on us. We were dancing and waving at cars and she stopped the car. She has promised to do this so often. This time she did it. She kicked us out the car and told us to walk home! It wasn’t that far to walk but still. Actually, she kicked me out the car and the girls decided to join me! So we walked home.

This is what I’ll remember though. My wife decided to take another drive around the block to make as if she is “driving away”. I laughed and so did my oldest daughter. We were in a silly mood already and the wife was joining in. But the little one? She cried. Scared that mom just drove away. Scared that she won’t come back. Shame. We made it into more fun by hiding away (very unsuccessfully) behind the bushes from my wife. She started laughing again. Nervously.

But all I wanted to say to her was, “Don’t worry girl. Mom’s not going anywhere. Because the thing we do is love each other”. I don’t have to do anything before I die. Because I am already doing it.

Can you feel it?

Can you feel it?

 

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