At last some good news for Nigeria. The doctors have decided to go on strike. Man, it couldn’t come at a better time. Nigeria has been go through a tough time lately. Okay, for the last few decades. But you know what I mean. It has been especially tough over the last few months.
We all believed that Obasanjo was going to be the man. But he wasn’t. He started off with a bang, but it seems as he fell into the “border guard” syndrome. Taking a bit off the top and charging for entry without any receipts. It’s a shame. It seems as if he also gave up on Nigeria. My good old friend the Rev D from Nigeria must be frustrated for being right, again. Sorry D, I had to give it a shot. I still believe Nigeria can pull it together. Just maybe not in my lifetime.
But don’t let this tell you anything about Nigeria. Nigeria is a great place to visit. I had one of my best meals ever in Abuja. It was South African Kudu, but still, it was excellent. And like so many other places in Africa the people were vibrant and alive. Okay, it wasn’t the Delta, but still. It’s a vibrant and growing city that’s but an infant – a purpose build capital.
The people welcomed me with open arms. And I don’t mean the people at the meetings – them too. But the real people in the streets where I went to at night. I always explore to get a sense of the city and the people who give it life. They welcomed me into their lives and their hang-outs. And we shared a few beers and many laughs. That’s what it’s always like in most places in Africa. Share a few beers and a few laughs and we feel the world is okay for a bit. It might only be for the night. But we can enjoy each others company and forget about our worries for a little while. Tomorrow is another day. We’ll hopefully get through that day and then have another few beers and laughs to shake off the dust and worries for a little while at least.
But I didn’t meet my friend Salam Jafar though. I didn’t go to meet him, but was hoping we could catch up. We haven’t met, but we have been emailing each other. He has some issues to resolve and I was hoping I could help him out. He is busy dying you see. And he is a philanthropist by heart. He made millions as a merchant and never treated people well. But he “saw the light” and decided that he had to give back to all those he trampled on. He wants to give away all the millions he made exploiting others. But his family is trying to stop him from doing this – those hard hearted money-grabbers.. Trying to get him declared insane so that they can get their hands on all his money. That’s why he needs my help. He doesn’t know me, but he said that God told him about me. He got the message from above that I was the one who can help him. That we are similar in so many ways. Always thinking of others instead of ourselves. All he needed from me was some help to get the money out of Nigeria. Just $10,000 to open the account and pay off a few bureaucrats. And he’ll pay me $23 million for my help to set up my own charity. What a kind, kind man. He emailed me you know.
But what about those doctors? Good news for Nigeria then. You see, less people die when doctors go on strike. Let me give you a few examples. Doctors decided to go on strike in LA back in 1976. And the death rate dropped during the strike. But went up again when the doctors returned. Same thing happened in Colombia in 1976 (a good year for patients I guess) and Bogota in 1973. And Israel has a long history of this – doctors went on strike in 1972, 1983 and 2000 and all of these strikes lead to less death. That’s why I don’t go to doctors – they will kill you. And now Nigeria and be at ease for a day or two. The doctors are on strike. Long live the doctors – and us!
Maybe that’s what Nigeria should do with their politicians. See if the same thing will happen then. Ask the politicians to go on strike. You never know. People might actually live a full life for a day or two. And the country might actually get back on its feet. If the “doctor + strike = no deaths” theory holds a strike by politicians in Nigeria might actually result in their job getting done. Let’s see, “politician + strike = no corruption”. Doctors and politicians, can’t live with them and… oh well, can’t live with them.