It’s been a busy week. Lots of news. Duh. Stating the obvious. Okay, lots of interesting news. So let’s get going.

1. Olympic meat fit for an athlete… on steroids

The US Olympic team don’t just want to eat any meat when competing. Noway, sir. They want prime cut for prime athletes. They want their fresh American meat. Okay, maybe not that fresh. They are flying it to Beijing all the way from the US of A. So it will be stuck in the airport for a little while. Hope they don’t lose the luggage. But yes, the US Olympic team is flying their meat in because, you know, those third world countries like China just doesn’t have the good stuff. BIG steaks. They are scared that the meat might make them ill or something much worse. Might be contaminated. Because one of the caterers said that the chicken in China is full of steroids. Even more than Marion Jones. So full of steroids that the athletes might actually fail a test. Shock, horror. Imagine that. An American athlete failing a drug test. It can’t be. Not an American athlete. So they take some fresh Tyson meat with just in case – to play it safe. Hum, excuse me for just a moment while I choke on my ribs. But you think American meat is safe? How about some steroids in there baby? And growth hormones? Oh. Sorry. You will at least know that the steroids and growth hormones are undetected because of you have the technology behind it to make it untraceable. I get it. It would be like taking steroids from a stranger. I agree. Not good. Or maybe you want to take the American beef because you are scared of getting Asian flu? American beef is full of antibiotics to fight that off right? You think the USDA inspects the meat in the US? Think again. Only after the meat is in the market and then they hope to God that someone blows a whistle because there ain’t no way they will do it. So you better cook those steaks extra well done. But at least you will have an excuse if you get caught with steroids at the Olympics. It must have been the meat it couldn’t have been you, the honorable piece of meat. I mean athlete. At least you balance out your carbon footprint. Flying the meat in might be bad, but you are taking our enough methane gas outlets out the system to offset that. And stop for a minute to think while you take a bite of that meat over there. Think of those other pieces of meat. Those pieces of meat lying dead in the streets in Tibet.

2. Gadgets for Africa                                                                                African gadets

You know I have talked about Africa and innovation many, many times. Here is another example. And some pictures for the first time on my blog! Have a closer look at that picture. On the left is a mobile phone booth! Taking the business to the people. Genius. If we can’t get landlines or afford cellphones – no problem. We will take phones to people. In the streets and in the townships and out there in the veld. And on the right? A small step in solving the plastic bags problem (plastic bags is also known as the national flower of South Africa – you see them everywhere along the roads). So this guy took the plastic bags and made himself a paraglider. We have another lesson here apart from the obvious lesson that Africans are resourceful and innovative. Lesson: don’t think we are stupid and don’t know or want things you have. A paraglider? You would think that the guy has more pressing problems if you look at the background right? Not exactly prime property – but not that bad either. But the point is that we wear Nike’s and we drink Coke and we paraglide. We do things the “Westerners” do because we want to and have our “small things in life” as well. And they are similar so many times it is just not funny. So what’s this got to do with news? Well, AfriGadget just launched their new site and it is full of diamonds. From solar powered gadgets for mobile phones to making wire art. Have a look – it is great.

3. “Problem” solved – just export gays

Yep, the right wingers have come up with a perfect plan to solve the “gay” problem. Export them. Peter Sprigg from the Family Research Council said in his opposition to the Uniting American Families Act that “I would much prefer to export homosexuals from the United States than to import them into the United States because we believe homosexuality is destructive to society.” (Bloody bigot bastard. Sorry. That slipped out.) A society that exports people. Mm, I wonder what that means? Some of the people who did that include Apartheid South Africa, Zimbabwe as we now have it, Rwanda, the Nazi’s and China. All different forms of “exporting” people they don’t like. (Stupid pathetic hatemonger. Sorry. That just slipped out.) But maybe it will address the trade imbalance that the US suffer from. You know. The US imports way too much and get into heavier debt each year. it’s gonna be a tough one to monetize. But hey. Bush managed to start a war from nothing so I won’t be too surprised. And of course, these “Christian” groups will then have enough money to participate in their other favourite hate pastime – war. A whole new meaning to “make war, not love”.

4. The Mac in Iran, I mean Iraq

The Mac is back. Yes, Mr Flip-Flop is taking it to a whole new level. First he had to change his story when Joe “I’ll-sell-my soul-for-DC” Lieberman whispered in his ear that Iran is NOT training Al-Qaeda. So Mac-say-cheese corrected himself and said that he meant extremist and not Al-Qaeda. You know. There are so many of these extremist groups that it is hard to keep up with the Sonny’s and Cher’s. And he decided to leave his “misspoke” out of his “factsheet” of his tour. And now? And now his team back home says that he was actually right the first time. That the Iranians are training both Sonny and Cher since they broke up. Yes. Iran is dancing to the Osama samba. And while you are at it. Why don’t you tell the American listeners the reason why you aren’t at that market you were at last time. You know, when you told the world that it is so safe out there – look. “I am in the market. How bad can it be?” You know why he wasn’t there? Because the US military advisers wouldn’t let him go there this time because it wasn’t safe enough… Not even with 100 troops, 3 helicopters and armored vehicles. Straight talk express my… hum… backside. Huh, Mac? Just stick with(out) the straight-bullsh*t-expressions please.

5. There’s more to those Obama passport stories you know…

You should know it by now. The story of the “state employees” who hacked into Obama’s passport file. They are trying to play as if this is nothing. Just a minor thing that they caught before anything happens. Nothing really. Really? Let’s have a closer look, shall we? You think those two who got fired were state employees hey? Sure sounded like that when the “authorities” talked about it. Let’s hear them say it, “Two State Department employees were fired and a third has been disciplined for improperly accessing Senator Barack Obama’s passport file”, the State Department announced. But they are not state employees. Oh no they are not employed by the state department. They worked for two companies that were contracted to the state department. A bit of a difference there isn’t it? And you think the companies got disciplined? Who knows. The department isn’t willing to let us know who these people or the companies are. Or why the third person was only “disciplined” (what the hell does that mean in any case?) But nothing on what they did to the companies. Maybe Dick ha a hand in that one as well. Halliburton anyone? And were they ever going to tell us about it? They only came out with the news after a journalist raised a question. And then they had to rush out and arrange a press conference. Before they even spoke to Obama. Remember the last time a candidate’s details were looked into? Bill Clinton in 1992. Another Democrat. Do I see a pattern of behaviour here? Oh, wait. There is more. Guess the dates that these people violated Obama’s privacy right? January 9th, February 21st and March 14th. What’s the relevancy? That’s the day after the New Hampshire primary, the day of the Democrat Texas debate and the day the Wright story hit. Mr Stone – you have a movie to make.

That’s all folks. More news out there. But no more views. I mean. No more space. I limit it to 5 or else we will never get out of here! Have a great weekend all. Stay angry. But have fun.

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