WARNING! PG18 RATED!
Jeez. I have had a flood of new visitors over the last few weeks. And no, it’s not just because of the What are we doing? piece. Not even close. It would have been nice if it was only because of that. But nope, I had a new kind of visitor doing very different types of searches. Since I wrote those two pieces on porn poses and “free porn“… Yes, you guessed it. I am the Hugh Hefner of the blogging world right now. Minus the… hum… everything I guess. So let’s have a look at what terms they used for their searches. I had to exclude a large number as they are not even PG18 rated. And there was some confusion about some of the terms they used. Not sure if they were meant to be porn. But I put on my “porn hat” and tried to get inside the head of a porn searcher. Or find alternative reasons why they might have used those terms in their searches…
20. “why didn’t get job“ – Let me try to help you out a little bit. You know when they say size doesn’t matter? Well, it almost never matters. But in this industry…
19. “phelps bolt” – He might be an excellent swimmer, but apparently he is sometimes a little too fast out of the “block”. You know, he “bolts”. Anyway…
18. “mugabe a pom” – About as likely as you finding real porn in this blog…
17. “porn quickie in a skirt” and “porno pics in knickers” – Or you could just put it in a bag and no one will notice. Just carry it as if you don’t have anything suspicious in your bag. You can get away with it I promise. I always put mine on my car keys or wallet. Huh?
16. “free african porn” – We used to have a similar slogan back in the 80’s. “Free Nelson Mandela”. Sounds like an excellent campaign to me…
15. “porno mam and san” – You Italian or is that just a weird accent?
14. “activist salary” – Okay. I have worked for a few activist organizations and know they screw you with the salary. But really…
13. “african reality porn” – Good luck. We know they fake it. Just like “reality” television. Did you think Pop Idol or the news might be real?
12. “free porno african with best girle” – Cool! Where can I buy a box? I used to get little plastic toys with Kellogg’s Corn Flakes but this sounds like so much more fun. And can you tell me what is a “best girle”? Is it some kind of breakfast or fast food joint?
11. “ethiopia vidio porn” – I know Sindamo. But what kind of a coffee is “vidoi”?
10. “i will do anything for big money” – Emphasis on big. Sorry mini-me. Keep on looking.
9. “unblock” – Sorry. Don’t know how this one slipped in here. Must be the Chinese government who decided to unblock my blog. And hit the wrong button. Thanks guys. And welcome back.
8. “a story of typical air hostess” – I think that is pigeonholing someone who delivers a very valuable service to society. And not, I don’t mean that. I mean handing out the nuts while flying.
7. “muslim women free porn” – Say what? Did you mean Muslim women free of porn? Or free porn for Muslim women? Maybe Muslim porn free of women?
5. “‘three little words’ ‘pull my finger’” and “thumbsucking porn” – Say what? Very niche.
4. “olympics african swimming trunks”– No. That’s just stereotyping. It’s just the pants that have the elephant trunk motive, thank you.
3. “african tigers” – Yeah! Spot on dude! There might not be any tigers in Africa. But there are when it comes to porn.
2. “african sex free porn” – Yes. In Africa we have porn that is sex free. Huh? It’s Africa. We like to do things differently.
1. “why do people pigeonhole each other” – I have no clue. And I don’t want to know.
Hum… Like I said. Not the usual search terms… Needless to say, but they don’t leave any loving comments when they get to my “porn” blogs. I think they might just be slightly disappointed.
And I am NOT going to use any more porn terms in my tags and categories!