Who said us Souf Efrikans aren’t that computer savvy? We get it dudes and dudettes! We are “with it” when it comes to computers. Just look at how we make sense of it all – computer terms explained the Souf Efrikan way…

Monitor– keeping an eye on the braai (braai = BBQ)

Download– get the firewood off the bakkie (bakkie = pickup truck)

Hard drive– trip back home without cold beers

Keyboard– where you hang the bakkie and bike keys

Windows– you shut it when it’s cold

Screen– you shut it in mosquito season

Byte– What mosquitoes do

Bit– What mosquitoes did

Megabyte– what mosquitoes at the lake does

Chips– bar snacks

Micro chips– what’s left in the bag of chips

Modem– what you did to the lawn

Dot matrix– Oom Jan Matrix’s wife (Oom = term used for odd old guy we all know “Old Uncle”)

Laptop– where the cat sleeps

Software– plastic knives and forks you get from KFC

Hardware– real stainless steel knives and forks

Mouse– what eats the grain in the shed

Cursor– the old bloke that swears a lot

Search engine– what you do when the bakkie won’t start

Yahoo– what you say when the bakkie finally goes

Upgrade– a steep hill

User– the neighbour that keeps borrowing things from you

Network– when you have to repair your own fishing net

Internet– complicated fishnet repair method

Netscape– when fish maneuvers out of reach of net

Online– when you hang out the washing

Web– what spiders make

Website– the shed or under the veranda

Mainframe– what holds up the shed

Server– the person at the pub that brings out lunch

Main server– the bloke at the pub that gives you beer

You see how computer literit… litarite… literite… litterrit… dammit – you see how we know computer hey?


Thanks Saffer for emailing me this. It is excellent! You know I am going to upgrade from pigeon to dial-up soon. Promise boet.