At last. I got hold of it. You know. “The Gay Agenda”. Now we got them. And I am going to give away all their dirty little secrets. Warning: You will not be the same once you have read this. Be afraid. Be very afraid…
Run! Hide! Put make-up on!
The Gay Agenda by Steph Mineart
6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 pm Brunch
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters and our military men to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Bulldoze all houses of worship or convert their leaders into Gaydom, and
5) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.
2:30 pm Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 pm Cocktails
6:00 pm Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 pm Theater
11:00 pm Bed (du jour)
There you have it. Go lock the door now! Or just run. Run, run, run! And don’t look back!
On a more serious note. I continue to be puzzled by why people get so worked-up about gay marriages. I just really don’t get it. You might remember my piece called The “gay problem” or The Idiot’s Guide to Bigotry. I had an offline discussion with one of my (seems to be ex) frequent readers after that post. He made the point that marriage is a bond between a man and a woman that was given to us by God. Marriage is a sacred God-given bond. Marriage is between a man and a woman, ordained by God. “Fair enough”, I said. (Knowing where I was going to take this…)
So the criteria is a man and a women married in a Church under the rules of God? Right? God, the Christian God according to him and the groups he supports on this issue. I take it then that he does not recognize the marriages of Muslims, Jews, Hindu’s or any other non-Christian group? I mean really, why would they give this “right” to other sinners and non-believers? And I am not even going to touch the different Christian groups and/or sects. So, your marriage is fake if it isn’t done under the rules of orthodox protestant Christian believers. Bigotry knows no limit… (Hum, he didn’t have an answer to this one.)
Here is another take on the Gay Agenda. This time by Rabbi Daniel Judson. It is part of a speech given by him at an Interfaith Rally in Massachusetts in 2007. (Okay, roll your eyes at Massachusetts if you must. All I have to say is Celtics and Red Sox.) Rabbi Judson, I have never met you or even heard of you until about 30 minutes ago. But can I just tell you that you are one beautiful man. Words like these can come from nowhere else but the beauty inside. Thank you for this. I’ll keep it close. And share it with my friends to show them that not all religious people are whack-jobs. (I am a whack-job, but that is completely different issue.)
The Gay Agenda by Rabbi Daniel Judson
Maybe you have heard of the Massachusetts gay liberal agenda, I call it justice.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, I call it equality.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, it is called not living in fear anymore.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, it is called embracing family.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, it is called the real promise of America that we can live in freedom.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, it is called the voice of the prophet calling out let my people be who I have created them to be.
Maybe you have heard of the gay agenda, I call it grace and truth and love.
Thank you Rabbi Judson. I will become Jewish just to come and listen to you.
That’s it now. No more bitching and moaning from the peanut gallery. Leave me and my friends alone. They can love and marry who they want. They don’t need you to make them feel “better”. They are just fine the way they are. You know why? Because there is no “they”. It’s just my friends and I don’t give a shit who they marry or who they love. As long as they love.
I am a father of two beautiful girls. And I don’t give a damn if they are gay or not. I don’t care if they fall in love with another woman when they are older. As long as they love and as long as they are happy. (And, of course, if the person passes my test on whether they are good enough for my girls!) So, shut the hell up and let me and my friends live our lives. We don’t need you. And we for sure don’t need you to put your stinky red-neck backward nose in our business either.
You are just jealous because you live a loveless life. A bigoted life. A life of space filled with hatred. A life where you spit on God with your wars and hatred for other people. A pathetic little life where you can only surround yourself by people who only obey your orders through fear and indoctrination. A worthless life where you look for reasons to hate and judge instead of love and caring. A stupid useless life where you can only define yourself by the hate you have. You have no life or meaning of yourself. You only have meaning through the hatred that fills your empty spaces. You know no true love. You know nothing of love. You are a bigot, sir (and madam). You don’t deserve to share the same space as me and my friends. You are a waste of oxygen. And, actually, a waste of my precious blogtime.
“Snap!” You are so yesterday. Get a life. Get over yourself. And go and… hum… you know… f-off. Goodbye!
Note: This piece got inspired by something Vanessa wrote and by my best friend in the US – Mark. Mark and Randy… Two of the most beautiful people I know and I am so going to write about the two of you. Even though I have never met Randy. I just know, for so many reasons, that he is one hell of a person. But that, my friends, is another story for another day…